Local Violence

So the day after the trip to New York I woke up in the middle of the night and proceeded to go downstairs for some soup. My grandmother was up. This is not unusual. I run into her occasionally on my kitchen midnight snack raids.

We got to talking about a town commotion I had heard a rumor about earlier in the evening.

I find out from her that near by a mother of a 6 year old girl had been killed by an abusive , and estranged ex-husband. Chills up my spine. The latter part was not yet known by me. All I knew was that a mother had been killed.

I think it's normal in these days of constant fear to think of yourself in a similar position. As a woman what would happen if I or anyone of my ''sisters'' was subject to a random act of violence.

I do not have an abusive ex husband but still. Before I knew the issue had been domestic I opted not to go out with my son to the library that day. Even after I found out it was domestic and not a stranger who had killed this woman I still opted not to go out. It felt to near to my heart. I also considered the size of the town and that undoubtably I had probably seen this woman and her child , maybe walking or talking, maybe at some function but I didn't know her .

The more I found out, the more I was troubled. She worked at the school near by, and even though a restraining order was in effect , her husband still had visitation rights with the daughter. A fact that I just found out today. A fact that made me sick to my stomach. The woman dropped her daughter off twice a week at the children's room in the library so this man could collect the child. I thought about the way that woman must have felt having a court order to do this, while knowing this man was unstable. And I can't help but wonder about her last moments as a victim of this monster and the mental anguish of her final hour.

It has just disturbed me deeply. Knowing that I have crossed the path of this woman in the past and that we shared a common thread of motherhood. My brain frequently considers the plight of a family sharing custody of a child. Some negotiations and plans are done amicably and without fear. think that this is wonderful. But of course then you have situations like the above (which I am not claiming to know all the details ), but where a woman is forced to share custody with someone who has a criminal and troubled recent past.

How many alarms go off in these woman's minds. How many courts won't allow woman to flee at the sounds of these alarms due to a ''custody negotiation''. I don't have an answer to that. But I know the answer is probably too many.